Maintaining Sexuality After Menopause: Reclaim Your Intimacy

You’ve still got it!

So, you’re navigating the wild ride that is menopause, huh? It’s like the ultimate plot twist in the story of your body. But here’s the thing: just because your hormones are throwing a bit of a tantrum doesn’t mean your sex life has to go on hiatus. In fact, with a few tweaks and the right mindset, you can keep the fire burning bright—and have some fun along the way.

How does menopause affect sexual health?

Can we be real for a moment? Menopause can feel like your body suddenly decided to play by a whole new set of rules. Hormonal shifts can lead to some unexpected changes in the vaginal area – like dryness, thinning walls and yes, a few more painful moments than we’d like. But here’s the thing: when you begin to understand these changes, you’re taking the first step to taking back control. It’s normal to feel out of sorts, but trust me, you’ve got this.

Why am I losing my sex drive?

Ah, the million-dollar question. Between the hot flashes, mood swings, and the occasional (sometimes more than we’d like) sleepless nights, it’s no wonder your sex drive has taken a break. Hormonal changes can be a big part of that, but don’t forget that stress, body image, and fatigue can also play a rule. It’s not all in your head, and you’re not alone.

How to increase sexual drive after menopause

1. Take Your Time
   You know the saying, “good things come to those who wait”? Well, it applies here too! Rushing into things can lead to discomfort, so give yourself permission to slow down. Foreplay isn’t only a warm-up. It’s part of the main event. Take your time, explore each other’s bodies, and enjoy the ride. Your comfort and pleasure are the stars of the show, let them take center stage.
2. Be Present
   We’ve all been there before – your mind is racing with to-do lists and replaying the day, and suddenly sex feels like another chore. But here’s a secret: being fully present can make all the difference. Take a deep breath, let go of the stressors of the day, and focus on the moment. Take the time to reconnect with your body and your partner.
3. Communication is the key
   Let’s talk about the “C” word –communication. It isn’t always sexy but it’s necessary. However, as our bodies change, so do our needs. Talk to your partner about your challenges, changing positions to something that feels better, things you enjoy, and your fears around sex. Don’t be shy about sharing what feels good (or what doesn’t) with your partner. Having a supportive partner and open dialogue always goes a long way in intimacy, sexual or otherwise.
4. Explore Solo Play
   Who says you can’t play alone? Spend time with yourself and explore your own sexual pleasure. Solo play is a great way to explore what feels good and what might not, plus it’s a confidence booster. Exploring sexual pleasure with self-stimulation can often help you increase desire, identify what works for you and communicate better with your partner.
5. Exercise more for better sex
   I don’t mean Kegel exercises or marathon running (unless you’re into that); I mean general exercises. Cardiovascular fitness is often linked to better health, metabolism, and sex life. Sex can be an endurance sport, and we need to be in good shape/health for it! Whether it’s yoga, or a brisk walk, get moving. Your body (and partner) will thank you.
6. Redefine Sex
   Sex can be whatever you want it to be. The narrative of “sex equals penetration” is outdated. There are so many ways to connect intimately with your partner like taking turns massaging each other, taking sensual baths, kissing, snuggling, oral sex, sexual toys, and so on! Talk to your partner and explore other sensual things like caressing.
7. Understanding and Addressing Vaginal Dryness
   Vaginal dryness is commonly linked to perimenopause and menopause and is often associated with vaginismus. As estrogen levels drop with the onset of menopause, your vaginal tissue may become thinner, less elastic, and less lubricated, causing painful sex. The anticipation of pain with penetration related to vaginal dryness can lead to pelvic floor muscle tightening (vaginismus) that further increases the pain with attempts at intercourse.

Investing in your intimate health can make a big difference. Start with a high-quality lubricant, but if your dryness is linked to vaginismus, a dilator might be a tool you can use. 

Listen to your body and progress gradually.

If the idea of penetration feels intimidating right now, that’s completely okay. Starting with a vaginal dilator like Milli can help you ease into it at your pace, ensuring that you feel comfortable and in control. Remember this is your journey – take it one step at a time.

Why Choose Milli?

Menopause doesn’t have to mean the end of a pleasurable sex life. With the right tools, like the Milli dilator, you can continue to enjoy intimacy on your terms. Milli’s gradual expands inside your vagina at the pace you control–helping you claim your sexual health because you deserve to feel your best today.

Learn more about Milli and make it part of your journey.

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