Three common mistakes women make with dilators.
Vaginal dilation is a love/hate relationship for everyone experiencing painful penetration. Vaginal dilation is a process of using a device to gradually dilate the vaginal space and prepare your muscles for intimacy. While most women ultimately find dilation helpful, it invariably starts to feel like more and more of a chore. In this blog we are going to talk about how to make the most of vaginal dilation and how to avoid the top 3 mistakes I see with it.
Table of Contents
What is vaginal dilation used for?
● Gradual stretching of the vagina. All vaginal dilators use incremental sizes to expand and stretch the vaginal muscles over time. As an expanding, dynamic dilator, Milli offers a smooth transition between sizes, allowing for gradual dilation while the device is already inside the vagina.
● Control over penetration. Anticipatory pain with insertion starts to create muscle guarding and, over time, women report fear of penetration. Using vaginal dilators can help you work through this fear by offering control.
● Simulating penetration to support the process of healing painful sex. Specifically for women who are not currently partnered, this can become a practical way for achieving success with penetration and maintaining it.
How to get the best use out of vaginal dilation therapy?
● Consistency. It doesn’t mean daily dilation. Whatever frequency you select for yourself, stick to it consistently so your body and mind can get used to it. Ideally, I recommend my patients use it 2-3x/wk for 5-10 mins each session. The consistency varies depending on your cause for pain and some women may need to dilate daily for optimal success.
● Use them with other tools like breath work, nervous system calming techniques, simulating positions of sexual intercourse, music, oils, etc. Dilation can start to feel monotonous and time-consuming. Combining techniques that relax you while using dilators can increase your return on investment.
Here is an example: Listening to calming music with essential oils, dim lights, say some affirmation as you breathe into your lower back in a child pose, followed with some vaginal dilation when your body feels grounded.
● Move it – Keep moving the dilation device around to stretch the vaginal tissues in clockwise or reverse clock direction. Alternatively, hold the dilator in place and move your body around it such as sit up or turn in bed or roll over. This helps you get used to the sensations and pressure of movement. If your fear is overpowering, then perhaps start with leaving the dilator in and simply staying stationary. The sooner you start using it as a movement tool to simulate sex the better!
Dilator Mistakes
● Forcing it– Forcing yourself to a bigger size of dilation creates unnecessary fear response from the nervous system. I know it seems like one of those things where “powering through” might help open up space…but it doesn’t. In absence of vaginal scarring like surgery or injury or radiation therapy, it is important to remember the issue may not be lack of space, the real issue might be muscle guarding due to anticipatory pain. That is why forcing dilators will create more muscle guarding. Listen to your body and progress gradually.
● Getting too passive with it– The opposite end of forcing is using the same dilator in the same position all the time and not moving. I get it! We all want to find a win and stay there for as long as we can but it is time to move on. Different size, different angle, different position, different directions of moving the dilator. Variety and active participation are key!
Why choose Milli?
Milli offers a built-in advantage by progressively increasing its size , eliminating the need for constant removal and reinsertion. It has been a game changer in the world of vaginal dilation. It decreases things you need to clean, gives you control of moving through positions, and, most importantly, allows seamless transition between sizes!
To summarize, vaginal dilation can be an extremely helpful tool for achieving pain-free intimacy. Avoiding common mistakes has just become even easier with new dilation devices like Milli but remember progress looks different for different people!
